How to Begin 101

How do I even begin?
What do I say to attempt to break the ice?
My heart makes me think twice
Our love was lost & now I'm paying the price
I just want to make things right
Fix everything that went wrong
Not have to sing to myself those sad love songs
Not have passing thoughts of you all day long
Not have my emotions take control of logistics
When I let go of us I never pictured I'd miss it
I could have never guessed that this would happen
After all I was calling the shots
I was doing what I wanted whether you liked it or not
I guess I forgot exactly how much you meant to me
Maybe deep down you knew I'd come back eventually
But now I can't even prepare myself mentally
To rekindle the thing that I think of relentlessly
Where do I start?
Trying to plan it out saddens me
I sigh at the thought of things ending tragically
I know I don't have you so I've got nothing to lose
But I know I'm not equipped to handle the bruise
You can put on my ego & even more on my heart
Its hurts all the same no matter how far apart
So how do I even get the strength to face it
My mind writes off your love but my heart won't erase it
I can try to replace it
But nothing's the same
Try to look to The Word but all I see is your name
Listen to music, I hear you in the refrain
Put my pen to the pad & you fill up the page
So how do I even formulate the words...
What do I do to work up the nerve...
My heart is aching & I want it to end
But you're the who that determines why where what & when
The one who's the catalyst, stimulus & reaction
It's you who has me in this predicament
But it's myself in my own way; not letting you in
I'm stopping myself. How can I begin?

the post kind of speaks for itself... <3