So tonight, I had the confirmation of all confirmations. When I say that God is AMAZING, He truly is and His spirit moves uncontrollably. I woke up this morning and the first thing I did was go on youtube and watch a video of my school's liturgical dance team did. They danced to a song called "The Search" and the lyrics include the words, "I need Thee, Oh I need Thee. Every hour I need Thee. Where can I find You Jesus? Can I please touch those nail scarred hands..." As I watched the video I cried and this was from the MOMENT I woke up. I had a fairly light day and went to a meeting at Wake Eden and after that I went to the Youth Service at Bronx Bethany. When I tell you the message was a pure CONFIRMATION of what I've been asking of God... there's no other way to describe it. It touched on the hunger we have for Christ, how to get it, fasting & other things that just spoke directly to my spirit. As they did the altar call, they played "As The Deer" and I was certain that God had placed me in that moment and was speaking directly to me, answering what I have been asking of Him recently. I never went up to the altar that quickly and certain in my life. There was no sense of resistance, I was just spirit led. As I stood at the altar, I cried. I've been "saved" all of my life but in all of my years I have never experienced that moment in all of my life and I don't think I've ever heard God's voice in any greater clarity. I know that this is a point in my life where God is calling me to change and be totally His and as I'm at a battle with myself, I'm continually praying that my flesh be removed and His spirit take full control of my being. I'm brought to tears so quickly at the thought of His goodness and I feel Him working in ways that I've never felt before. I pray that my testimony can touch somebody and let them know that they're not alone in the battle between flesh and spirit... EVER. As I pray for everyone going through what I am, pray for me so that we might be able to commit ourselves to God and unite as a body in Christ. I encourage everyone to listen to this song, "Chasing After You" by Tye Tribbett so that we might know the attitude we NEED to have to fully dedicate our lives to Christ. The battle is not yours. It's the Lord's, so have faith & leave it in His hands.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
Pulling me back...
Helloooooooooo peeps! So it's clearly been a while since I've ventured on this site and I've been being pushed to write but never felt so compelled until tonight. Today was a day of many emotions which have drawn me to call on God for several things. I just feel like as of today I was pulled in so many directions which was draining in one way but a great blessing in another because I was able to fall into a spiritual place and really start to question my personal relationship with God. But before I divulge into that topic, I should update you on my favorite subject... ME! lol
So not too long after my last post, March 17 2010... I cut off all of my hair. I had been going natural for a while and on that day I finally got fed up with worrying what everyone thought. It was a very powerful day for me because I did something major... for ME. I wasn't worried about what people would say, I didn't ask anyone's permission (but God's). I just did it for me. So on that day at around 11 at night I went into the bathroom with some scissors and my ipod, looked in the mirror, prayed, turned on some Gospel music and cut away 22 years of everyone else's expectations of me. In the end, I was so relieved and proud that I did it and that there was no turning back. I had absolutely no regrets and thank God that I was and am able to take myself as I am without worrying about what society calls me to be. Now, I'm 9 months natural and going on 5 months since I did the Big Chop and my natural hair journey has been fantastic.
As for what went on with me today, I just feel a lot of confusion but my prayer for the moment is one of revelation. I want and need God to tell me where I need to be and I feel Him doing it subtlely but I'm in need of a clear sign so that I can move forward. I hope that anyone else seeking the same thing might be helped and I pray that they can stay strong in the Lord, knowing that the answer will come at His pace and nobody else's.
Oh yeah... the new love of my life is MAKEUP. I've done a few jobs but hope to make it a LUCRATIVE hobby lol... anybody in need of an MUA for ANYTHING, check out my port at www.modelmayhem.com/leyjaemua
HOLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
So not too long after my last post, March 17 2010... I cut off all of my hair. I had been going natural for a while and on that day I finally got fed up with worrying what everyone thought. It was a very powerful day for me because I did something major... for ME. I wasn't worried about what people would say, I didn't ask anyone's permission (but God's). I just did it for me. So on that day at around 11 at night I went into the bathroom with some scissors and my ipod, looked in the mirror, prayed, turned on some Gospel music and cut away 22 years of everyone else's expectations of me. In the end, I was so relieved and proud that I did it and that there was no turning back. I had absolutely no regrets and thank God that I was and am able to take myself as I am without worrying about what society calls me to be. Now, I'm 9 months natural and going on 5 months since I did the Big Chop and my natural hair journey has been fantastic.
As for what went on with me today, I just feel a lot of confusion but my prayer for the moment is one of revelation. I want and need God to tell me where I need to be and I feel Him doing it subtlely but I'm in need of a clear sign so that I can move forward. I hope that anyone else seeking the same thing might be helped and I pray that they can stay strong in the Lord, knowing that the answer will come at His pace and nobody else's.
Oh yeah... the new love of my life is MAKEUP. I've done a few jobs but hope to make it a LUCRATIVE hobby lol... anybody in need of an MUA for ANYTHING, check out my port at www.modelmayhem.com/leyjaemua
HOLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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