Going through it...

**So this post is edited.  Before I was kind of in a rut and like the title of this post says "Going through it."  I was quickly out of that feeling with the help of prayer and the strength in addition to the continuous faith I have in God.  This was clearly just a test and even when he breaks me down, my blessings come back 100 fold.  I love Him to my core.  Always have always will.  I decided to leave the poem up just because all of them are a testament to what I've been through.  Although this may not be my feeling now... it could be someone else's.  I pray that my work is used and touched by God to get people through any similar situation that might connect to my poems.  Now back to the original post =) **

I wrote this poem today and it's untitled... read it and form your own title.  Enjoy.

Broken...

In two &&three &&four pieces

As my pen hits the pad, depression releases

My head on the pillow

Two ears full of tears

I think back over the years

Take a glimpse at my peers

Sadness ensues

Feelings subdued

Pushed to the back... 

Still visible afront

I put up a front

Isn't that what you want?

&&you... &&you

Seeing me fail at what you want me to do

Trapped by the world's conformity

Society

Giving me

Preconcieved dreams of what I should be

What's pleasing you is murdering me

Killing my spirits

Suffocating my aspirations

Hopeless exasperations

Trying to find me amongst the confusion

The mirage is perfection... A long term illusion

A facade

A Front

All because you want

M E to be Y O U

But in that where is MY happiness?

Where's my white picket fence &&2.5 kids?

Where is MY success in YOURS?

There is none, simply... 

My success is adjacent

To the hopes &&dreams that I once thought to be vacant

The goals I was told were so farfetched

Unattainable dreams become capable

Even more sustainable

In me I found strength

Through art I can vent

Through Christ I can grow

The heights I can go

Surpass your pinnacle

I'm my own individual

I'm gaining a clear visual

Of the place that I should be

the hard fist of opportunity

is knocking. banging. &&beating down my door

Happiness secured

My success locked up tight

Everything in this dream seems so right

I can't go back

Can't falter or buckle

Some may knock my hustle

I may have to tussle

With your dreams &&success

They're holding mine back

Thankfully He makes up for all that I lack

I just pick up the slack

My aim is to get that

Lifelong.

Nothing-can-go-wrong.

Everything-has-a-song.

This-is-where-I-belong.

Success.

I found the key

Instead of existing for you

I start living for me

Finally. Happy.